Ask two siblings about the same childhood and you’ll get two different houses.

Two people can live through identical events and store completely different versions, because memory records what mattered to the person doing the remembering. Age, temperament and where you stood in the family all change what the same evening meant. Neither account is a lie, and neither is the whole house.

When someone remembers a shared thing differently, resist the urge to establish who is right. Ask what it was like for them and let that sit beside your own version. You may learn more about the person than about the past, which is the more useful thing.