“But we’re family” is a reason to try harder, not a pass to treat you worse.

Closeness raises the standard rather than lowering it. Being related gives people more access to you and more reason to be careful with it, so when the relationship gets used as a reason to accept treatment you would take from nobody else, the argument has been turned upside down. Obligation runs both directions or it is not obligation.

Apply the standard you would use with a friend and notice where the gap sits. You can stay in contact and still decline particular behaviour. Loving people does not require accepting everything they do.