Your words are your job. What they do with your words is their job. Quit working both shifts.

You are responsible for saying something clearly, honestly, and with care, and not for how it is received. Trying to control both ends means editing endlessly, softening until the meaning is gone, and still being upset when the reaction is not the one you planned. Someone else’s response belongs to them.

Say the thing as accurately and kindly as you can manage, then stop managing it. Let their reaction be theirs, including when it is disappointment. Doing your half well is the whole of what was ever available to you.