You can honor your parents’ sacrifice without living out their backup plan.

Gratitude and obedience are not the same debt, though they often arrive presented as one. What was given to you was room to have a life, and spending that room on somebody else’s abandoned plan is a strange way of honoring it. Their hopes were shaped by their circumstances, which are not the ones you are living in.

Say clearly what you are grateful for, out loud, so that part is not in question. Then be equally clear about the choice you are making, without arguing the case for it. You can hold both at once, and holding both is usually what they wanted.