Rose-tinted glasses don’t remove red flags. They just make them look like decorations.

Wanting something to work changes what you are able to see. Warning signs do not disappear, they get reinterpreted as quirks, or as things that will change later, or as your own oversensitivity. This is not foolishness, it is what hope does with inconvenient information.

Write down the things that gave you pause, plainly, on a day you are not upset. Then read the list a week later as if a friend had handed it to you. What you would say to them is usually what you already know, and having it written is what keeps it from being edited.