The calmest person at the table often has the most options. Calm reads as power even when you’re nervous.

Calm signals that you are not trapped. People read a steady voice as evidence that you could walk away, and that reading changes how they treat you, whether or not it is true in the moment. Nerves live on the inside, and what the room sees is your pace.

Before your next hard conversation, slow your breathing and slow your speech by a little. You do not have to feel calm to speak calmly, and speaking calmly often brings the feeling along behind it. Notice how differently people respond when you are not rushing to fill the air.