Stay quiet a little longer and people fill the silence with who they really are.

Silence makes most people uncomfortable, and discomfort loosens the guard. Given a few extra seconds, someone will explain further than they meant to, soften a demand, or say the part they were holding back. You learn more in that gap than in any question you could have asked.

Practice waiting two seconds after someone stops talking before you answer. It will feel far longer to you than it does to them. Use what arrives in that space to decide what to say, instead of deciding while they are still speaking.