Paying for access to something and never using it is a familiar small frustration, and the same shape operates at a much larger scale. You have capacity, time and the ability to do things, and none of it does anything until it gets used. Unused potential is quieter than a wasted subscription and it costs considerably more.

Pick one capacity you are not currently using and use it this week, even badly. Turn up once rather than planning a full programme. What matters here is the turning up, not the standard you turn up at.