You find out who’s loyal the day somebody cooler invites them somewhere else.

Commitment is not visible until there is an alternative. As long as you are the best available option, nothing about someone’s behavior tells you what they value; the information appears when staying costs them something they wanted. That moment is uncomfortable to watch and extremely clarifying.

When it happens, resist making it into a confrontation and simply record it. One choice is not a character verdict, and a pattern of being the fallback is. Meanwhile be the person who does not disappear the moment a better invitation lands, since that is rarer than it should be.