Acting like nothing matters just protects you from the risk of trying.

Detachment is one of the safest postures available, because if nothing matters then nothing can be lost. The trouble is that it costs you the same thing it protects, since caring is the entry fee for anything that turns out to be worth having. Indifference is not calm. It is fear with better posture.

Admit one thing you actually want, out loud, to one person. That is genuinely uncomfortable and it is also the whole move. Wanting something visibly is what makes effort possible, and effort is the part that was being avoided all along.