Figure out what sets you off before it sets you off. That’s half the battle won in advance.

Reactions that feel like they arrive from nowhere almost always have a short, repeating list behind them. Hunger, a particular tone, being interrupted, one specific person. Once you can name the list, the moment stops being an ambush and you get a small amount of room between what happens and what you do, which is where every good choice fits.

Write down the last three times you snapped at someone and look for what they had in common. Then handle the setup rather than the moment, since most of the work happens before anything does.