Being the victim in every story you tell means you’ve handed away the pen.

Some things genuinely were done to you, and naming them accurately is not weakness. What the line points at is a habit of narration rather than any particular event, because a story in which you never acted leaves nothing for you to change, which is a strange place to live even when every detail is true. Accuracy about harm and agency about what comes next can both hold.

Try retelling one recent difficulty including what you chose. Not what you should have done differently, just where you acted. That version usually has more of you in it.