The ref missed one call. You missed eleven free throws.

Unfair things genuinely happen, and they are rarely the whole account of why something ended as it did. One bad decision by someone else is easy to remember because it comes with a feeling attached, while eleven ordinary misses of your own leave almost no trace. Memory keeps the injustice and quietly drops the arithmetic.

After the next loss, write two columns: what was outside your hands and what was inside them. Look at the second without arguing. That column is the one that responds to work, and it is nearly always longer than it felt at the time.