You pick your circle, and then your circle starts picking for you.

The first choice is yours and the ones after it are shared. Whoever you spend your weeks with sets what counts as normal: how much work is reasonable, what time things end, whether trying hard is embarrassing. You absorb it rather than adopting it, which is why the choosing happens early and the consequences arrive much later.

Look at the people you were with most this month and ask what they have made normal for you. Keep one friend who is better than you at something you care about. If a group only works when you are a smaller version of yourself, that is worth noticing early.