Choosing to listen first in an argument gives you information the loud person never gets.

Whoever speaks first spends the rest of the argument defending a position taken before they had the information. Listening costs you nothing and hands you what the loud person never gets: what the other side actually wants, which is usually narrower and more reasonable than their volume suggested. Going second is a practical advantage rather than a virtue.

In the next disagreement, let them finish, then say back what you heard before you answer. Notice how often that alone lowers the temperature. Save your one point for after you know what is really being argued about.