When you can’t find the words, say that. “I don’t know how to say this” is a great first sentence.

Waiting until you have the perfect phrasing means most hard things never get said at all. Naming the difficulty does two things: it buys you a moment, and it tells the other person that what follows is costing you something, so they listen differently. It reads as honest rather than clumsy, and honest was the target. The sentence after it is usually easier than you feared.

Use it the next time you are stuck in front of somebody. Then say the true thing badly rather than not at all. If it comes out wrong, try again in different words while you are both still standing there.