Trade-offs become painful when you pretend you are entitled to both sides.

Trade-offs hurt most when you have quietly decided you should get both. The pain then is not the cost itself but the sense of being wronged by having to pay it, and that grievance keeps you arguing with the situation instead of choosing inside it. Accepting the trade is what makes the choice possible.

Find where you are currently insisting on both sides of something incompatible. Say the trade out loud, in plain words. Naming it usually converts frustration back into a decision.