Say “we” when there’s a problem and “you” when there’s credit.

Pronouns hand out responsibility, and people hear that immediately. Saying we when something has gone wrong puts you inside the problem alongside whoever else is in it, so they can think about the fix instead of the blame. Saying you when something went well gives away the credit, which costs nothing and buys a great deal.

Watch which word you reach for in your next group project or shift. Swap it once in each direction and see what it does to the room. People who do this become the ones everybody wants to work with, usually without anybody being able to say why.