Give feedback the way you’d say it with them in the room. Eventually they will be.

Words about people have a habit of finding them. Group chats get screenshotted, friends repeat things, and the person you were describing to someone else ends up sitting across from you a year later. The useful test is not whether you will get caught, it is whether the sentence is one you could own.

Read back the last thing you wrote about somebody and imagine them reading it over your shoulder. Keep the parts that are true and said plainly. Cut whatever was only there to get a laugh from whoever you were talking to.