Body language starts with yours. Arms crossed, phone out, eyes elsewhere: you’re saying something.

You are broadcasting whether or not you mean to. People read posture faster than words and adjust what they tell you accordingly, which means a closed-off stance can end a conversation before it starts and you will never know it happened. Most of the time you are not being cold, you are cold, or tired, or unsure what to do with your hands.

Take one look at yourself at the start of your next conversation and open up whatever is shut: hands out of pockets, shoulders square, phone away. Nothing performed, just the version that says you are available. Then notice how differently someone talks to you.