Compassion and accountability only conflict when someone wants an exit from one of them. You can care about a person, understand what they are carrying, and still hold them to what they did. In fact the version of care that skips accountability usually is not care, it is conflict avoidance with a kind face.

Where you are struggling with someone, try being warm about the person and firm about the behaviour, in the same conversation. It is harder than choosing one, and it works far better.