Compassion without boundaries can abandon the people harmed first.

Compassion directed only at the person who caused harm can quietly abandon the person who received it. Both may deserve care, but the injured party has the first claim, and forgiveness urged too quickly usually serves everyone’s comfort except theirs. Warmth without limits ends up distributing the cost to whoever complains least.

When you are extending understanding to someone who hurt another person, check first whether the one who was hurt has been looked after. Order matters here.