Try praying for someone before you talk about them. The conversation usually gets shorter.

It is hard to be cutting about somebody you have just spent a moment wishing well. The habit works by putting a pause between the irritation and the audience, and most unkind conversations run on momentum rather than conviction. Break the momentum and there is much less to say. What survives is usually the part that was worth saying.

Before the next time you bring someone up, take ten seconds to think of one thing that is genuinely hard for them. Then have the conversation anyway. You will notice which sentences you no longer want to use.