Asking “why” isn’t rebellion. Plenty of prophets did it out loud and stayed prophets.

Challenging something from inside a commitment is not the same as walking out on it. The people most associated with faith in the old stories argued, complained and demanded explanations out loud, and nobody revoked their standing for it. Loyalty that cannot survive a question was not loyalty. It was agreement, which is a much thinner thing.

Ask the why you have been swallowing. Pick the person best placed to answer it, keep your tone respectful, and ask for reasons rather than reassurance. Stay in the room for the answer.