The coach who benched you and then explained why respected you more than the one who never said anything.

Being told the reason is the respect, even when the decision goes against you. Silence leaves you guessing and learning nothing, while a straight answer about what is not working treats you as somebody capable of fixing it. The explanation is harder to give than the benching. Most people avoid it to protect themselves from the conversation, not to protect you.

If you are out and nobody has told you why, ask directly, once, away from a game. Ask what specifically would change it rather than whether you are good. Then thank whoever gives you a real answer, because they did the version that was harder for them.