A hand-me-down car comes with dents and stories. Ask about the dents before you complain about them.

Damage on an inherited thing is a record rather than a defect. Each mark has an event behind it: a sibling learning to park, a tree on a bad night, somebody reversing in a hurry twenty years ago. From your side it is a scruffy car. From the family’s side it is years of history visible on the outside.

Ask about two of the dents before you complain, because the answers are usually funnier than the damage is annoying. Then decide what you are keeping and what you are fixing, which is a real choice rather than a complaint. Add your own dent and own up to it.