Ask your parents what they were like at your age. You’ll stop seeing them as just your parents.

Parents arrive in your life already finished, which makes it hard to believe they were ever sixteen and unsure. Asking about that age gets you a person instead of a role, with their own embarrassments, friends and bad decisions, most of which they have had no reason to mention. The information changes the relationship, because it puts you on something closer to level ground. Usually they are waiting to be asked.

Ask one specific question this week rather than a general one. What were your friends like, what did you argue about at home, what did you want. Specific questions get real answers.