Families often reveal values through what children learn not to mention.

Values show up in the topics that go quiet. If money was never discussed, the family believed something about money. If a certain relative was never named, or an illness, or a failure, that omission taught the children what counts as shameful more clearly than any speech could. Children learn the boundaries of the acceptable by watching which words make the room change.

List what could not be said where you grew up. Then check whether you still treat those subjects as dangerous with people who would handle them fine. Testing one of them with a trusted friend is often surprisingly easy.