If you’re only nice to people when they’re useful, that’s networking, not kindness.

Kindness and strategy can look identical from outside and are not remotely the same thing from inside. The difference shows in the absence of a payoff: how you speak to someone who can do nothing for you now and will not be able to later. Warmth that tracks usefulness is a service, not a quality.

Pick one person this week who cannot help you with anything and give them your real attention for five minutes. Ask something and listen to the answer. Do it regularly and the strategy stops being necessary, because you turn into the thing you were imitating.