Write down what you won’t do before anyone asks you to do it.

Decisions made in advance and decisions made under pressure come from different people. Cold, with nothing on offer, you think clearly about what you will not do. Hot, with something you want on the table and somebody waiting, your reasoning quietly reorganises itself to get you what you want. A list written early is the cold version holding ground for the warm one.

Write three or four down tonight, specific enough to be awkward, and keep them visible. Read it when something tests it rather than rewriting it in the moment. If you change one, change it on a calm day and know you are doing it.