Secrets become heavier when they protect wrongdoing; privacy can protect peace.

There is a real difference between the two, and it can usually be found by asking who is being protected. A secret that shields harm keeps growing heavier because the concealment has to be maintained and the harm continues. Privacy is not like that; it protects your quiet and costs no one anything. The weight is the diagnostic.

If something you are keeping has begun to feel heavy, ask whether keeping it is preventing someone from knowing something they need. If so, it is not privacy. If not, the discomfort is probably other people’s pressure rather than your conscience.