In photography, shadows give a face its shape. Without contrast, everything looks flat.

The parts you would remove are often what make the rest legible. Flat, even light hides the structure of a face, and a life arranged to dodge every difficulty tends to lose its definition the same way, because nothing stands out when nothing is dark. That is not an argument for seeking out hardship. It is a reason to stop reading every hard stretch as a mistake.

Look at something that went badly for you last year and ask what it gave you shape about, concretely. Then stop skipping that part when you tell people who you are.