Accountants say books “balance,” not “win.” Some things aren’t competitions; they just need to be even.

Not every situation has a winner, and treating one as though it does makes a mess. Some things only need to come out level: what you owe against what you have given, the time two friends spend choosing what to do, the chores in a house. Trying to come out ahead in those breaks the very thing you were keeping.

Find one place this week where you have been quietly keeping score and stop. In a friendship, with a sibling, on a group project. Aim for even rather than ahead, and notice how much less effort that takes.