Friends who keep a scorecard of favors aren’t keeping friends. They’re keeping a ledger.

Keeping count turns a friendship into an account, and accounts have to be settled. Once rides, loans and favours are being tracked, every kindness carries a small invoice, and you start doing things to stay level rather than because you wanted to. Generosity cannot survive that for long. Real friendships run uneven in both directions over the years, which is part of what makes them work.

Notice where you are tallying and where someone is tallying you. Where you can, do the next favour without logging it. Where the ledger is being kept on you, stop trying to balance it and spend more of your time elsewhere.