Calm is not free, and the currency is usually somebody’s good opinion of you. Every limit disappoints a person who liked the old arrangement, which means a life with no disapproval anywhere in it is a life where nothing was ever declined. Knowing the price in advance helps, because the guilt that follows a reasonable no is the bill, not evidence of a mistake.

Decide which approval you can live without, specifically, before you have to spend it. Then when it does cost you a little standing with somebody, you can recognise the feeling for what it is.