Not everything you feel needs to be said right away. Some things get clearer by tomorrow.

Feelings arrive fast and firm, and the certainty they come with is not a measure of their accuracy. A reaction at eleven at night is largely made of tiredness, the last thing that happened, and a guess about what somebody meant. By tomorrow part of it has gone and the rest has a clearer shape, which is usually a shorter and truer thing to say.

Build in a delay for the big ones. Write it down now, say it tomorrow, and see what survives the night. The things that genuinely needed saying immediately stay the same size by morning.