You and your sibling don’t have to compete for the same trophy. There’s more than one shelf.

Families often hand their kids a single measuring stick, and siblings end up fighting over one version of doing well. Your sibling being good at something takes nothing from what you are good at. The feeling that there is only one prize is usually something the house taught you rather than something true.

Name the thing you want to be known for, separate from whatever your sibling is already known for. If you catch yourself keeping score this week, say one honest good thing about them out loud instead.