The more you need a crowd’s approval, the louder the crowd gets in your head.

Approval behaves a lot like volume. The more weight you hand to what people think, the more mental room they take up, until decisions are being run past an audience that is not even present. Those imagined opinions are rarely accurate and always confident. They grow in proportion to how badly you need them.

Before your next decision, notice whose voice turns up first and whether you would genuinely ask that person. If not, set the question down for an hour and answer it once your head is quieter.