When you’re sure about someone, look for one piece of evidence against your opinion. It’s a good habit and a humble one.

Certainty switches off your collecting. Once you have decided somebody is lazy or dishonest or a show-off, every new thing they do gets sorted into that box, the fit gets better every week, and you mistake the tightening of the story for proof. The box never empties on its own, because nothing is allowed in that would empty it.

So go hunting for the one exception, on purpose. Think of somebody you have decided about and find a single thing they have done that does not fit. You are not required to change your mind, only to keep the file open, which is both more accurate and much kinder.