You catch more truth from what someone does on a Tuesday than on their birthday.

Big occasions are performances, and everybody performs a little better than their average. An ordinary Tuesday has no audience and no reason to try, so what shows up is the habit underneath. Who texts back, who carries the bag, who tells the truth when it costs nothing and gains nothing. That is the person you will actually be around.

Think of one friendship you are unsure about and look at the plain days instead of the highlights. Then turn it round, because somebody is reading your Tuesdays too. Pick one small ordinary kindness and do it on a day when nobody is watching.