Memory edits as it goes. That’s why your journal from last year disagrees with how you remember it.

Remembering is not replay, it is reconstruction, and each time you do it you update the file slightly to fit who you are now. The result is a smooth story that feels accurate and quietly disagrees with the record. This is not a fault in you. It means your memory is a worse witness than anything you wrote down at the time.

Write things down while they are happening, even badly. A line a day in your notes about what actually happened and how it felt. In a year it will argue with you, and you will be glad of something that does not bend to fit your mood.