Sometimes “this is just who I am” is an excuse wearing an identity badge.

Describing something as your nature ends the conversation, which is exactly what makes the phrase so useful when you would rather not change. Real temperament exists, and some things about you genuinely are stable. But a habit that consistently costs other people something and consistently spares you effort deserves more scrutiny than an identity claim provides.

Test it by asking whether you behave that way in every setting or only in some. If it disappears at work or with certain people, it is a choice with a pattern rather than a fixed feature. That distinction opens the door.