If you only find out how you feel by asking your friends how they feel, practice checking first.

If your view of something only forms after you hear what your friends think, what you end up with is their reading rather than yours. It happens for understandable reasons, since agreeing is easier and groups reward it, but over time your own responses get harder to hear. The fix is small and learnable: find your answer first, then compare it with everybody else’s.

Before the next group conversation about something that matters, take a minute to work out what you think and hold on to it. Say it early if you can. If it differs from the rest, that is information rather than a problem.