“The smart one,” “the funny one,” “the difficult one.” Family roles get handed down too. You can return yours.

A role in a family is often not even about you. The difficult one, the responsible one, the funny one: these tend to be slots that existed before you arrived, sometimes filled by an aunt or a parent a generation earlier. Once you are in the slot, ordinary things you do get read through it, and you start supplying the evidence yourself. Handing it back is allowed, and it is usually done quietly rather than announced.

Spot the slot first, then watch for the next time you play to it automatically. Do the opposite once and see what happens. Expect them to be slow to notice.