Polling five friends about every decision can be a way to avoid knowing what you think. Decide alone first, then ask.
STILLNESS
WHAT THIS MEANS
Asking around feels like research and often works as an escape. Collect five opinions before forming one and you never have to find out what you actually think, while the responsibility for the result gets shared out. Advice is genuinely useful after you have a position, because then you have something to test it against. Before that it mostly gives you a majority to hide behind.
With the next real decision, write your own answer down before you ask anybody. Then get two opinions rather than five, from people who will disagree with you. Compare instead of handing over, because the call stays yours either way.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
How many people did you ask before your last small decision?
MORE IN SOLITUDE & SELF-KNOWLEDGE
- It’s scary to admit what you really want, even just to yourself. Say it in your head first. Then out loud.
- Sit alone and separate what you want from what’s expected of you. They might match. Check anyway.
- Alone with your thoughts, your worst day will try to introduce itself as your whole story. It isn’t.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.