The things you say “I’m just like that” about are the things you haven’t looked at closely yet.
STILLNESS
WHAT THIS MEANS
That phrase is a door closing. It takes a habit, something learned and therefore changeable, and reclassifies it as permanent furniture, which conveniently ends the conversation. Most of what gets filed that way is a pattern with a beginning you could find if you looked.
Pick the one you use it about most, whether that is being late, being blunt, or going quiet when upset. Then ask when it started and what it was protecting you from at the time. You may keep it anyway, and then you are keeping it on purpose rather than by default.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Which habit do you defend by saying you are just like that?
MORE IN SOLITUDE & SELF-KNOWLEDGE
- Same walk every night with the dog means you notice how your mood changes even when the route doesn’t.
- The first time you leave the party early because you wanted to, not because you had to, is a quiet kind of growing up.
- In a small town people remember who you were in fourth grade. You’re allowed to not be that person anymore.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.