You’ll meet yourself at the worst times: a breakup, a cut list, a rejection email. Be ready to be kind.

Setbacks introduce you to yourself more sharply than good news does. When the list comes out and your name is not on it, the version of you that shows up is the baseline one, without any of the performance. That is useful to know, and it is a rough way to find out.

Since it is easier to be decent to yourself when the plan already exists, make one now. Decide who you would call, what you would say to yourself in the first hour, and what you would not do. Then you are following a plan rather than deciding while hurt.