Learn the difference between needing space and needing people. They feel similar at 11 p.m.

Both needs arrive after eleven wearing the same clothes, which is a restless feeling and a vague sense that something is wrong. Guess wrong and you make it worse: out when you needed quiet, or in when you needed a person. The feeling itself will not tell you which, so you have to test it.

Try the smaller move first, since it is cheap. Send one message and see whether a short reply settles you, or take ten minutes of quiet and see whether the restlessness drops. One works quickly, and after a few rounds you start recognising which is which.