Figure out which praise actually lands for you. “You worked hard” and “you’re talented” feel different, and that matters.

Praise aimed at effort tells you something you can repeat. Praise aimed at talent tells you what you supposedly are, which is harder to act on and easier to lose. Most people have one kind that goes straight in and one that slides off. Knowing which is which tells you what you actually believe about why you are good at things.

Think back to a compliment you still remember and ask what it was pointing at. Then notice what you say to other people when you want to encourage them. You can start handing out the kind that lands.