Bees can’t see red but can see ultraviolet. Everyone’s reading a slightly different map, so ask what they see.

Two creatures in the same garden are receiving different information, and neither one is wrong. People work the same way without the biology: different history, different pressures, different things they have learned to watch for. When somebody reacts in a way that makes no sense to you, the likeliest explanation is that they are looking at a version of the situation you cannot see.

Instead of deciding why someone did something, ask them what they were looking at. Put it plainly, as curiosity rather than challenge. The answer usually explains the whole thing, and it costs one question.